MY ILLNESS 5-9-20

Dear ones,

I have decided to send one more and final update for the foreseeable future.  I met with Dr. Patel, my oncologist, on Friday, May 25.  He was happy with my tests and used the term “cancer free!”  We all appreciate the possibility of recurrence, but we even more appreciate the probability of non-recurrence.  In fact, he wants my venous-access port removed since he does not anticipate using it again (removal under local on Tuesday, June 5).   So, I will have two more prophylactic spinal infusions of methotrexate and see him in three months to say “hey” and a scan in six months. We will consider correction of my right eye extraocular muscles in the fall (still seeing double on upward and lateral gaze).

Mrs. Morris and I will be traveling to the hill country next week (lunch with John and Karen Myers), to Tybee Island/Savannah in July for a thirteen-family member vacation financed by deceased aunt, Katherine Reamer (for whom our Katherine is named), and then to southern France in September.  We will both procrastinate on deciding what retirement really looks like.  And no, I am not going to take up golf; I took a twelve-step program thirty years ago, and I have no intention of backsliding!

There was a southern-kingdom (i.e. Judah) king in the O.T. called Hezekiah, who was one of the good ones. Well, “In those days, Hezekiah became sick and was at the point of death.”  II Kings 20 tells us that Isaiah told him to get his house in order.  Hezekiah simply prayed and cried and cried and prayed.  Isaiah had to eat his words and then said these words of the Lord, “I have heard your prayer; I have seen your tears.  Behold I will heal you…and I will add fifteen years to your life.”  Now to be clear, I am not of Hezekiah’s stuff, nor has an Isaiah spoken for the Lord to me guaranteeing health and many more years. For now, I take comfort in the God who hears and intervenes (two of His favorite activities).  But just think of the celebration, and yes, tears, on the part of Heze’s family and friends when the news spread.  So, that is where we are, whether it is fifteen years or fifteen days.  There is no better way to close this last update than to quote John as he closed Revelation and thus, the Bible: “The grace of the Lord Jesus be with all. Amen.”

Nancy and I love you all,

Dave, Daddy, Granddaddy, Doc Dave

There are several reasons for tears.  Crying is one; but one could also have allergies, an infection, or a foreign body. Let’s talk about tears that come from crying which happens when the lacrimal glands’ production out-match the lacrimal ducts ability to get the tears into the nose, and one begins reaching for the Kleenex (preferably, Ultra Soft), begins blubbering, and develops aphasia (can’t talk well).  Over the past six months, Nancy and I have shed a few of those tears.  One thing that I have observed is that women cry in a more civilized fashion than men.  They always have a tissue while men go for the sleeve or blow on the grass.

I am impressed by the fact that the One Who made lacrimal glands values what they produce.  Psalm 56:8 reads: “You have kept count of my tossings; put my tears in your bottle.  Are they not in your book?”  Now, I know little of this celestial bottle; but it appears to be a secured container and highly valued by its Owner.  If one could do genetic tests on the contents, I suspect one would find tears of Adam and Eve as they exited the garden, tears of the infant Moses as pharaoh’s daughter was moved to adopt him, tears of David as he ran from Saul, tears of Jeremiah as he wept over Israel, and certainly the tears of Jesus as He wept at Lazarus’ tomb.  There would even be room for the tears of all God’s people since creation.  What is even more amazing is that in that bottle, one would find the tears of Dave and Nancy Morris!  Yours are there as well.

This type of tears is inextricably connected to suffering.  In the above passage, David adds the word “tossings” to perhaps bring to mind the restless nights, the yearning for a comfortable position, the loss of control, and the anxiety of a possibly shortened future. Nancy and I have tasted those tears.

We have also tasted tears of joy as our Lord has provided relief in the midst of disfigurement, pain, aversion to food, weakness, and yes, depression.  We tasted those joyful tears this afternoon as the post-chemo PET scan report came back negative for cancer!  I will meet with Dr. Patel, my oncologist, on Friday and will discuss the long-term plan.  But for now, we are content with simply thanking the triune God, Father, Son, and Spirit, for His present healing.  Pray with us as we seek to live out our remaining days with His purpose.

Nancy and I had already planned to celebrate our forty-ninth wedding anniversary tomorrow with Diane and Katherine and our two wonderful sons-in-law, David and Ed.  This radiology report will add a little party flavor to the celebration.

Dave/Daddy/Granddaddy/Doc Dave

There are several reasons for tears.  Crying is one; but one could also have allergies, an infection, or a foreign body. Let’s talk about tears that come from crying which happens when the lacrimal glands’ production out-match the lacrimal ducts ability to get the tears into the nose, and one begins reaching for the Kleenex (preferably, Ultra Soft), begins blubbering, and develops aphasia (can’t talk well).  Over the past six months, Nancy and I have shed a few of those tears.  One thing that I have observed is that women cry in a more civilized fashion than men.  They always have a tissue while men go for the sleeve or blow on the grass.

I am impressed by the fact that the One Who made lacrimal glands values what they produce.  Psalm 56:8 reads: “You have kept count of my tossings; put my tears in your bottle.  Are they not in your book?”  Now, I know little of this celestial bottle; but it appears to be a secured container and highly valued by its Owner.  If one could do genetic tests on the contents, I suspect one would find tears of Adam and Eve as they exited the garden, tears of the infant Moses as pharaoh’s daughter was moved to adopt him, tears of David as he ran from Saul, tears of Jeremiah as he wept over Israel, and certainly the tears of Jesus as He wept at Lazarus’ tomb.  There would even be room for the tears of all God’s people since creation.  What is even more amazing is that in that bottle, one would find the tears of Dave and Nancy Morris!  Yours are there as well.

This type of tears is inextricably connected to suffering.  In the above passage, David adds the word “tossings” to perhaps bring to mind the restless nights, the yearning for a comfortable position, the loss of control, and the anxiety of a possibly shortened future. Nancy and I have tasted those tears.

We have also tasted tears of joy as our Lord has provided relief in the midst of disfigurement, pain, aversion to food, weakness, and yes, depression.  We tasted those joyful tears this afternoon as the post-chemo PET scan report came back negative for cancer!  I will meet with Dr. Patel, my oncologist, on Friday and figure the long-term plan.  But for now, we are content with simply thanking the triune God, Father, Son, and Spirit, for His present healing.  Pray with us as we seek to live out our remaining days with His purpose.

Dave/Daddy/Granddaddy/Doc Dave

Dear ones,

This is a brief update to confirm that I completed the last of six chemotherapy sessions today!  It was certainly a unique feeling…some crying (Nancy and I do a lot of that), a lighter burden, and much thankfulness (i.e. there is Someone on the receiving end).  I have included a photo of me in the infusion chair and my faithful caregiver.

Dave/Daddy/Granddaddy/Doc Dave

Well, I have added another “ologist” to my list of specialists.  I saw a cardiologist yesterday (4/25/18) because of atrial flutter which had corrected on its own before the visit.  He was not too concerned and felt that chemo was the cause. I will start a low dose of flecanide for the next month.  In spite of my vast experience, expertise, wisdom, and good looks, I am still somewhat bewildered by the fact that one can swallow a pill and the heart settles down, or blood pressure lowers, or blood sugar goes down, or infection is controlled, or hair regrows.  It is indeed of grace and mercy that we live 2018 A.D.

I have mentioned before the Biblical principle that prayer is a two-way street.  The benefit certainly applies to the one prayed for; but the benefit also applies to the one praying.  Let’s call it a win/win process.  There is also a Biblical principle found in II Corinthians 1:3 “Blessed be the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, Who comforts us in our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.” Paul repeats in verse 7, “Our hope for you is unshaken, for we know that as you share in our sufferings, you will also share in our comfort.”  Let’s call it a suffering/solace process.  When the Bible repeats itself, is redundant, says the same thing again, or reiterates (like I have just done), it’s time to pay attention.

About three years ago I taught a class that I called “Sovereignty, Suffering, Solace.”  One goal was to catch a glimpse into why our sovereign, loving God allows suffering.  Another goal was how to receive and give solace, or comfort, like in II Corinthians 1.  I and most in the class were not suffering at the time.  But we all knew the time would come for some kind of suffering to enter. I used Michael Card’s book A Sacred Sorrow as a resource in which he said about suffering, “It was a shadowy path that began outside the garden.  It meanders through our lives, inevitably leading us through the darkest valleys of our fallen existence.  But we must never forget that it is a path, that it is going somewhere.”  Well, I am getting to know this “path” of illness pretty well.  Thank you for helping me start it, follow it, and ultimately, get to that “somewhere.”

I completed the fifth of six chemos three days ago…so far, so good with mild side effects.  I am so thankful for a great care-giver in Nancy, for faithful prayers, and for a faithful prayer-Hearer.  So, the current plan is for one more chemo on May 8 and two more spinal taps to inject a medicine for prevention.  A PET scan will be done be done in mid-May to access the lymphoma status.

Love you all,

Dave/Daddy/Granddaddy/Doc Dave

Easter seems like a good reason to send you an update.  This fourth (of six) rounds of chemo, combined with a spinal headache from the last spinal injection, has been a bear.  I am currently at day six after chemo and the nausea is improving and only a few episodes of vomiting.  The headache has been constant for twelve days and is improving.  In spite of my maturity, good looks, and great wisdom, my attitude resembled that of just a complainer.  Then, a dear friend, Donna Bland, started meddling, and she suggested that I view a presentation by Joni Eareckson Tada at the 2018 National Conference of Ligonier Ministries.  It turned a “woe is me” into a “wow is me.”   https://www.ligonier.org/learn/conferences/awakening-2018-national-conference/refined-by-fire/

We know about the events of Easter morning, or better Resurrection morning.  Something else also happened that afternoon.  Two unnamed men were walking to a town called Emmaus, just outside of Jerusalem (Luke 24:13-35).  A stranger joined them and began to explain “And beginning with Moses and all the prophets, He interpreted to them in all the Scriptures the things concerning Him.”  They finally realized that the Stranger was Jesus when He broke the bread with them. Wouldn’t you think that Jesus would have higher priorities on the afternoon of His resurrection than to explain to two confused guys what had happened that morning?  Could it be that Jesus’ plan was, and is, to replace confusion with conviction?  If so, it worked in these men’s lives!  Well…we all might consider taking a walk this afternoon.

Dave/Daddy/Granddaddy/Doc Dave

There are two aspects to this update. First is the medical.  Second is the professional/social/demographic/financial/emotional.

First, my oncologist was all smiles yesterday.  So, I am about half-way through this, with three more chemo sessions and three more spinal taps.  Nancy and I are pleased, encouraged and blessed.  The side effects have been minimal, but I will let you know if I have vomiting, diarrhea, rash, joint pain, muscle pain, mouth ulcers, numbness in my feet, or severe grouchiness.

Second, I retired from the full-time practice of medicine today!  Nancy and I shared some tears…not of sadness, but rather just because of the heaviness and change of direction for our lives.  Personally, there is a goal that I have had for many years; and that is simply to be like Caleb.  You may recall that Caleb was Joshua’s buddy.  They were the two out of twelve spies that told Moses that we can take the land, but the other ten convinced the people otherwise, and forty years were wasted wandering around the middle east.  After the promised land was secured, Caleb spoke this to his friend Joshua: “And now behold, I am this day eighty-five years old.  I am still as strong today as I was in the day that Moses sent me; my strength now is as was my strength was then, for war and for going and coming.  So now give me this hill country…” (Joshua 14:10b-12a).  That hill country would require of Caleb another battle.  My “hill county” has smaller hills and less square footage than Caleb’s and I am only sixty-eight (sixty-nine on April 21, San Jacinto Day, Aggie muster day, Steve Morris’s BD), but I trust that I want it just as much and welcome the challenge.  I suspect that a lot of you have a “hill country” as well.

Dave/Daddy/Granddaddy/Doc Dave

Dear ones,

This update is just to let you know that I am doing well.  This is day seven after chemo and things are looking up for the next two weeks; then it starts over… yuk and slowly, less yuk. The last chemo is scheduled for May 8. I still have to have three more spinal taps for methotrexate as a preventive.  I still have double vision which takes bicycle riding to a whole different level, literally.

My days are exciting!  I wake up, look in the mirror, and realize that my beard had covered a lot of ugliness and that I would like it back.  I still do not know what to think about my hairless dome; it’s a real head-scratcher. I continue my annual reading through the English Bible, the French New Testament, and the Moravian Daily Texts (288^thyear in print).  I then pray for events, places, and people (which includes a lot of you).  I then realize that it is 8:30 in the morning and there is a lot of daylight ahead.  I look at a couple of news sites, read RealClearPolitics.com (the good, bad, and the ugly), and then realize that is 10:00 and more daylight.  A nap usually finishes out the morning.  I’ll save the description of my full-agenda afternoons for another time, except to say that another nap is in order.

Thank you for the “in-couragement” through this process.  I am strengthened by you.  I am better focused because of you.

Dave/Daddy/Granddaddy/Doc Dave